








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1720 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2710 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1607 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2355 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,118,215 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeromE ツ | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Saeschh_ | 53% | 79 |
| #3 | ★T-Offline★ | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Classified | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | classic mbH | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeromE ツ | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Saeschh_ | 53% | 79 |
| #3 | ★T-Offline★ | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Classified | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | classic mbH | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saeschh_ | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | ★T-Offline★ | 7 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | classic mbH | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Classified | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | jeromE ツ | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saeschh_ | 403 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #2 | classic mbH | 110 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | ★T-Offline★ | 57 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | jeromE ツ | 48 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Classified | 38 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaiL|ShoT | +1.60 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | classic mbH | +1.45 | 64 | 67 |
| #3 | Classified | +0.17 | 83 | 55 |
| #4 | ★T-Offline★ | +0.14 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | jeromE ツ | +0.13 | 74 | 72 |





