








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,104 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2000 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2420 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1924 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1760 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,798,815 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 612 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MegaMatt | 77% | 31 |
| #2 | Freeman. | 60% | 55 |
| #3 | Izz | 57% | 134 |
| #4 | discoRyne | 53% | 149 |
| #5 | dasmako | 53% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | discoRyne | 952 | 0.34 | 29 min |
| #2 | TrekonBT | 689 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | Mr_Manime.TV | 602 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #4 | Izz | 519 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #5 | dasmako | 485 | 0.18 | 12 min |





