








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6977 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,280 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6215 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6208 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4128 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4729 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,930,374 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2373 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoafCat | 66% | 108 |
| #2 | auti_ | 62% | 45 |
| #3 | MegaMatt | 61% | 126 |
| #4 | Salamander | 60% | 94 |
| #5 | discoRyne | 59% | 246 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | discoRyne | 1540 | 0.32 | 45 min |
| #2 | Izz | 879 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #3 | Mr_Manime.TV | 642 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #4 | TrekonBT | 582 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #5 | Salamander | 563 | 0.30 | 17 min |





