








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 734 | 26% |
| Smokes | 787 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 589 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 668 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $411,596 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ryan L. | 53% | 19 |
| #8 | Basick | 52% | 46 |
| #9 | Glumanda | 52% | 27 |
| #10 | isak deez | 50% | 14 |
| #11 | LilShrimpBuba | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basick | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Opsje | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | isak deez | 2 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Ryan L. | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Opsje | 310 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #2 | Basick | 168 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | mo0n | 81 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Glumanda | 67 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ryan L. | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basick | +3.43 | 92 | 66 |
| #2 | Glumanda | +2.27 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | Opsje | +0.84 | 74 | 76 |
| #4 | isak deez | +0.83 | 88 | 59 |
| #5 | mo0n | +0.49 | 66 | 67 |





