








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1730 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1520 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2011 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1435 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $354,136 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sofacent | 53% | 66 |
| #2 | Barry Wood | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | Timon | 43% | 40 |
| #4 | Evio | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sofacent | 53% | 66 |
| #2 | Barry Wood | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | Timon | 43% | 40 |
| #4 | Evio | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sofacent | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Timon | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sofacent | 199 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | Timon | 53 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Barry Wood | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Evio | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sofacent | +1.63 | 56 | 60 |
| #2 | Evio | +0.99 | 59 | 45 |
| #3 | Schouwige | -0.01 | 47 | 64 |
| #4 | Timon | -0.78 | 44 | 56 |
| #5 | Barry Wood | -1.98 | 50 | 51 |





