








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 524 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 339 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2807 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4682 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4699 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4224 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3433 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $915,064 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gschmeidige.BimsNudel | 62% | 73 |
| #2 | loppa | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | Heavnerboy | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | LookAtMee | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Heavnerboy | 51% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loppo | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Heavnerboy | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | LookAtMee | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | cubcuz | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | gschmeidige.BimsNudel | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sizzzzzzz | 700 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | Heavnerboy | 386 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | Basinga | 284 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | cubcuz | 232 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | gschmeidige.BimsNudel | 149 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gschmeidige.BimsNudel | +5.74 | 89 | 77 |
| #2 | Basinga | +3.66 | 88 | 75 |
| #3 | Heavnerboy | +1.03 | 75 | 76 |
| #4 | loppa | +0.74 | 69 | 64 |
| #5 | loppo | +0.74 | 75 | 57 |





