








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 613 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10198 | 31% |
| Smokes | 9874 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6994 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5498 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $627,715 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gschmeidige.BimsNudel | 58% | 156 |
| #2 | Heavnerboy | 53% | 207 |
| #3 | Gamm Pamm Ratazong 45 Piff Paff! | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | loppo | 51% | 541 |
| #5 | Basinga | 49% | 295 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | moon | 48% | 222 |
| #9 | cubcuz | 46% | 310 |
| #10 | LookAtMee | 46% | 153 |
| #11 | loppa | 45% | 60 |
| #12 | Zone2k | 42% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heavnerboy | 311 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | Basinga | 285 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Heavnerboy | 274 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | cubcuz | 228 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | moon | 180 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gschmeidige.BimsNudel | +3.13 | 87 | 79 |
| #2 | Basinga | +2.77 | 87 | 77 |
| #3 | loppa | +0.71 | 74 | 59 |
| #4 | Heavnerboy | +0.53 | 68 | 76 |
| #5 | Heavnerboy | +0.38 | 69 | 77 |





