








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 199 | 18% |
| Smokes | 361 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 351 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 172 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $128,574 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harp | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Spanky™ | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | PotatoNapper | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | jerry | 47% | 60 |
| #5 | Roc | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | PotatoNapper | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | jerry | 47% | 60 |
| #5 | Roc | 38% | 8 |
| #6 | S1D | 34% | 38 |
| #7 | Eiswix | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S1D | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Spanky™ | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Eiswix | 2 | 0.0153 |
| #4 | jerry | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S1D | 121 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | jerry | 62 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Eiswix | 40 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #4 | Spanky™ | 21 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Harp | 15 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eiswix | +7.65 | 93 | 66 |
| #2 | Harp | +6.93 | 91 | 66 |
| #3 | jerry | +1.92 | 73 | 64 |
| #4 | S1D | +1.00 | 69 | 65 |
| #5 | Spanky™ | +0.57 | 57 | 60 |





