








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,002 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 590 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1028 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1347 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1037 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $919,030 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SveRik | 60% | 55 |
| #2 | Dietz_Master | 45% | 116 |
| #3 | NibbleMe4 | 44% | 169 |
| #4 | Obelix430 | 43% | 122 |
| #5 | ✪ MAYBE2MORO | 42% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | NibbleMe4 | 44% | 169 |
| #4 | Obelix430 | 43% | 122 |
| #5 | ✪ MAYBE2MORO | 42% | 93 |
| #6 | mItBisS | 42% | 106 |
| #7 | Mortomoto | 40% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NibbleMe4 | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | SveRik | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Obelix430 | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | mItBisS | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Dietz_Master | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NibbleMe4 | 269 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | ✪ MAYBE2MORO | 112 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Dietz_Master | 96 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | mItBisS | 89 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mortomoto | 82 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SveRik | +4.81 | 61 | 49 |
| #2 | ✪ MAYBE2MORO | +3.12 | 54 | 56 |
| #3 | NibbleMe4 | +0.16 | 49 | 55 |
| #4 | Obelix430 | -0.12 | 46 | 31 |
| #5 | Dietz_Master | -0.32 | 43 | 56 |





