








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 578 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4133 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 914 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1112 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1134 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1136 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,144,138 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 662 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Обунга | 43% | 69 |
| #2 | ♿ GAMING™ © | 43% | 40 |
| #3 | Phaeism | 38% | 34 |
| #4 | phile2k | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Обунга | 43% | 69 |
| #2 | ♿ GAMING™ © | 43% | 40 |
| #3 | Phaeism | 38% | 34 |
| #4 | phile2k | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phaeism | 9 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | Обунга | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | phile2k | 6 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | ♿ GAMING™ © | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Обунга | 193 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | ♿ GAMING™ © | 151 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | phile2k | 79 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Phaeism | 68 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Good Christian WhiteBoy | +1.39 | 85 | 39 |
| #2 | ♿ GAMING™ © | +1.10 | 32 | 60 |
| #3 | phile2k | -0.71 | 40 | 55 |
| #4 | Обунга | -0.93 | 46 | 64 |
| #5 | Phaeism | -1.46 | 51 | 25 |





