








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 735 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 972 | 23% |
| Smokes | 445 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1200 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1701 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $146,406 of utility $16 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 403 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frogfuck | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | Dave Mustaine | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | Baron O' Beefdip | 52% | 182 |
| #4 | kevmuller | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | BigBuddyNick | 48% | 179 |





