








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,063 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1036 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1127 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 998 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 902 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,008,147 of utility $273 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOSTI | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | Lange | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | MANGO-_- | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | -DME | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | Brun0 ⚡ | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | -DME | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | Brun0 ⚡ | 36% | 11 |
| #6 | Skal du ha den? | 35% | 17 |
| #7 | scratcH | 33% | 9 |
| #8 | Lockmann | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lange | 2 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | -DME | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | TOSTI | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -DME | 131 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #2 | Skal du ha den? | 74 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | TOSTI | 65 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #4 | MANGO-_- | 50 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Brun0 ⚡ | 25 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peter Pussy csgochance.com | +2.68 | 93 | 60 |
| #2 | TOSTI | +0.20 | 81 | 78 |
| #3 | -DME | +0.03 | 81 | 70 |
| #4 | Lange | -0.29 | 72 | 81 |
| #5 | scratcH | -0.75 | 64 | 49 |





