








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 478 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10579 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6210 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6223 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6321 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,201,654 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 197 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -kpe' ⁿ∞ⓑ | 62% | 78 |
| #2 | CLOUT | 60% | 65 |
| #3 | OleJenner ® | 59% | 64 |
| #4 | ✪ | Jay | 49% | 207 |
| #5 | - KPE' | 46% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | OleJenner ® | 59% | 64 |
| #4 | ✪ | Jay | 49% | 207 |
| #5 | - KPE' | 46% | 70 |
| #6 | Killuminati \\ High or Low | 43% | 37 |
| #7 | MANGO-_- | 43% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MANGO-_- | 22 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | - KPE' | 17 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | -kpe' ⁿ∞ⓑ | 12 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | OleJenner ® | 12 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | ✪ | Jay | 11 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ | Jay | 875 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #2 | MANGO-_- | 563 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | CLOUT | 316 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #4 | -kpe' ⁿ∞ⓑ | 194 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | - KPE' | 187 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CLOUT | +4.58 | 90 | 74 |
| #2 | -kpe' ⁿ∞ⓑ | +2.53 | 93 | 78 |
| #3 | - KPE' | +2.20 | 91 | 77 |
| #4 | -DME | +1.91 | 88 | 68 |
| #5 | MANGO-_- | +0.89 | 94 | 66 |





