








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 268 | 18% |
| Smokes | 367 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 366 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 517 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,867 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ahh shi bal | 51% | 47 |
| #2 | Mariah no carey | 43% | 53 |
| #3 | Bitconnect! Wasssup | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | tpcred | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ahh shi bal | 51% | 47 |
| #2 | Mariah no carey | 43% | 53 |
| #3 | Bitconnect! Wasssup | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | tpcred | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mariah no carey | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tpcred | 156 | 0.38 | 3 min |
| #2 | ahh shi bal | 143 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mariah no carey | 67 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bitconnect! Wasssup | 60 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bitconnect! Wasssup | +3.54 | 65 | 66 |
| #2 | ahh shi bal | +3.15 | 63 | 67 |
| #3 | Tike Myson | +0.66 | 56 | 31 |
| #4 | Mariah no carey | -2.03 | 39 | 44 |
| #5 | tpcred | -6.78 | 1 | 54 |





