








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3037 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1947 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2477 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1815 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $967,598 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 624 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grog | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Tomas-b-m | 54% | 131 |
| #3 | Tike Myson | 51% | 47 |
| #4 | Mariah no carey | 50% | 42 |
| #5 | vilgoda | 49% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vilgoda | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Tomas-b-m | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Freyja | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Mariah no carey | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | grog | 3 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomas-b-m | 443 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | tpcred | 323 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #3 | grog | 110 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Freyja | 100 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | vilgoda | 94 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ahh shi bal | +3.12 | 67 | 63 |
| #2 | Freyja | +2.56 | 71 | 49 |
| #3 | Tike Myson | +0.35 | 50 | 29 |
| #4 | grog | -0.28 | 71 | 48 |
| #5 | Tomas-b-m | -0.68 | 67 | 66 |





