










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 499 | 38% |
| Smokes | 296 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 304 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 202 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,716 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tike Myson | 40% | 15 |
| #2 | Tomas-b-m | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Mariah no carey | 30% | 23 |
| #4 | tpcred | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tike Myson | 40% | 15 |
| #2 | Tomas-b-m | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Mariah no carey | 30% | 23 |
| #4 | tpcred | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mariah no carey | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tpcred | 48 | 0.42 | 1 min |
| #2 | Mariah no carey | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tike Myson | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Tomas-b-m | 10 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bitconnect! Wasssup | +3.14 | 72 | 58 |
| #2 | Tike Myson | -1.72 | 49 | 27 |
| #3 | Tomas-b-m | -2.40 | 85 | 55 |
| #4 | Mariah no carey | -3.54 | 34 | 45 |
| #5 | tpcred | -8.12 | 1 | 52 |





