








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 162 matches | ||
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,393 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3748 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1803 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3009 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2833 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,477,497 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1273 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swan | 57% | 67 |
| #2 | slapit | 54% | 186 |
| #3 | KIEROC | 53% | 105 |
| #4 | Iskander | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | Rudzy | 46% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | KIEROC | 53% | 105 |
| #4 | Iskander | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | Rudzy | 46% | 118 |
| #6 | Examine | 38% | 60 |
| #7 | Steve McGraw | 38% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slapit | 22 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Steve McGraw | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Rudzy | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | KIEROC | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Examine | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slapit | 801 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | KIEROC | 514 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | swan | 262 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Examine | 222 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | Rudzy | 209 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swan | +3.01 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | slapit | +2.57 | 88 | 66 |
| #3 | Egg | +2.03 | 87 | 51 |
| #4 | Rudzy | +0.67 | 77 | 51 |
| #5 | Iskander | +0.22 | 56 | 64 |





