








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,717 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1544 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1163 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 923 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1087 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $281,160 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THUG | 63% | 126 |
| #2 | Chicken | 62% | 127 |
| #3 | ziigs | 61% | 135 |
| #4 | Kn0ckz | 61% | 114 |
| #5 | Teddi | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THUG | 17 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | ziigs | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Chicken | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Kn0ckz | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Teddi | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kn0ckz | 617 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #2 | ziigs | 372 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | THUG | 287 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Chicken | 186 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Teddi | 64 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THUG | +2.54 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | ziigs | +1.07 | 80 | 55 |
| #3 | Rinkui | +1.04 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | Chicken | -0.08 | 70 | 54 |
| #5 | Teddi | -0.45 | 80 | 60 |





