








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 398 | 9% |
| Smokes | 696 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1484 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1694 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $670,208 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sam's lil bro | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | C5R!* [SUPER HUMAN] | 48% | 48 |
| #3 | Wort | 35% | 55 |
| #4 | nunca | 26% | 43 |
| #5 | bUb | 23% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | C5R!* [SUPER HUMAN] | 48% | 48 |
| #3 | Wort | 35% | 55 |
| #4 | nunca | 26% | 43 |
| #5 | bUb | 23% | 35 |
| #6 | Atmosphur | 19% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nunca | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | C5R!* [SUPER HUMAN] | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Wort | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | bUb | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Atmosphur | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bUb | 190 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #2 | sam's lil bro | 136 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | nunca | 135 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | C5R!* [SUPER HUMAN] | 117 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Wort | 77 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C5R!* [SUPER HUMAN] | +5.37 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | sam's lil bro | +5.21 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | nunca | +2.28 | 74 | 60 |
| #4 | bUb | +0.06 | 44 | 68 |
| #5 | Wort | -1.73 | 39 | 57 |





