








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 266 | 22% |
| Smokes | 220 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 434 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 285 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,623 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lightning | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | benny | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Cassa | 53% | 58 |
| #4 | el gazi | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Robdoct | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cassa | 53% | 58 |
| #4 | el gazi | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Robdoct | 50% | 24 |
| #6 | Moo deng | 50% | 40 |
| #7 | Camphetamine | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cassa | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Lightning | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Robdoct | 2 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cassa | 177 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lightning | 139 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Camphetamine | 70 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Robdoct | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Moo deng | 28 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robdoct | +1.79 | 73 | 68 |
| #2 | Cassa | +1.14 | 59 | 59 |
| #3 | Lightning | +1.09 | 59 | 69 |
| #4 | Camphetamine | +0.90 | 65 | 57 |
| #5 | Jovial Merryment | +0.15 | 70 | 46 |





