








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,183 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7176 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5751 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7499 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4757 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,012,813 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaL. | 68% | 38 |
| #2 | schlabbersabber | 60% | 48 |
| #3 | zMilad | 60% | 80 |
| #4 | Graf von Monte Disco | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | Wolfera the Jackal | 52% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Graf von Monte Disco | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | Wolfera the Jackal | 52% | 50 |
| #6 | B3nt0 | 50% | 180 |
| #7 | fridge | 47% | 30 |
| #8 | aGe | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B3nt0 | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | schlabbersabber | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | fridge | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | zMilad | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Wolfera the Jackal | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B3nt0 | 476 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | zMilad | 180 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | schlabbersabber | 160 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Graf von Monte Disco | 147 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | fridge | 96 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaL. | +5.26 | 88 | 50 |
| #2 | Wolfera the Jackal | +1.97 | 92 | 24 |
| #3 | fEaR @ ASATRU @ GLOBAL | +0.47 | 61 | 77 |
| #4 | Graf von Monte Disco | +0.11 | 56 | 76 |
| #5 | aGe | -0.46 | 41 | 69 |





