








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 880 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 413 matches | ||
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5843 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10617 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7586 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 10475 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7619 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,456,090 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1342 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pomfritten | 61% | 51 |
| #2 | Danish Kalashnikov | 58% | 55 |
| #3 | EKL(noname) | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | $1lky | 56% | 75 |
| #5 | Felix | 55% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | EKL(noname) | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | $1lky | 56% | 75 |
| #5 | Felix | 55% | 65 |
| #6 | 7000 Fredericia | 49% | 57 |
| #7 | modsat | 45% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | modsat | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Felix | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | $1lky | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | 7000 Fredericia | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | modsat | 403 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | $1lky | 259 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Danish Kalashnikov | 232 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | Felix | 214 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | 7000 Fredericia | 182 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pomfritten | +1.97 | 55 | 61 |
| #2 | 7000 Fredericia | +0.97 | 87 | 65 |
| #3 | Danish Kalashnikov | +0.50 | 65 | 70 |
| #4 | $1lky | +0.40 | 55 | 79 |
| #5 | Felix | +0.06 | 63 | 67 |





