








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1708 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2482 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2188 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1205 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $810,504 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McZeezed | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | finfly | 68% | 57 |
| #3 | Aran | 64% | 56 |
| #4 | Yichael | 64% | 53 |
| #5 | meowers^^ | 62% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ragnaesk | 60% | 47 |
| #8 | The Flying Dutchman | 58% | 83 |
| #9 | Monosodium Glutamate | 58% | 118 |
| #10 | Okki | 50% | 38 |
| #11 | Walnoot | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugh Janus | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Monosodium Glutamate | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Yichael | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Ragnaesk | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | The Flying Dutchman | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugh Janus | 579 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | Monosodium Glutamate | 412 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Ragnaesk | 174 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | Okki | 169 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Aran | 158 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugh Janus | +3.15 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | Ben dover | +2.90 | 75 | 72 |
| #3 | Aran | +0.69 | 57 | 61 |
| #4 | meowers^^ | +0.39 | 75 | 72 |
| #5 | Ragnaesk | +0.21 | 63 | 59 |





