








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 200 matches | ||
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Wingman | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6121 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5524 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6111 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5715 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,393,431 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben dover | 58% | 118 |
| #2 | McZeezed | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | finfly | 53% | 168 |
| #4 | Hugh Janus | 52% | 328 |
| #5 | Ragnaesk | 51% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | meowers^^ | 46% | 180 |
| #8 | The Flying Dutchman | 46% | 191 |
| #9 | Yichael | 44% | 158 |
| #10 | Okki | 41% | 107 |
| #11 | Walnoot | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugh Janus | 20 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Yichael | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | The Flying Dutchman | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | meowers^^ | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | finfly | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugh Janus | 1195 | 0.17 | 31 min |
| #2 | finfly | 507 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | meowers^^ | 494 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | Okki | 413 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | Ragnaesk | 385 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugh Janus | +3.64 | 77 | 68 |
| #2 | Ben dover | +3.17 | 76 | 71 |
| #3 | meowers^^ | +1.59 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | Aran | +1.46 | 59 | 66 |
| #5 | Ragnaesk | +0.61 | 60 | 61 |





