








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2419 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2167 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2023 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1926 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $416,285 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McZeezed | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | Ragnaesk | 65% | 46 |
| #3 | Ben dover | 64% | 56 |
| #4 | Walnoot | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | Hugh Janus | 56% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Monosodium Glutamate | 50% | 94 |
| #8 | Okki | 49% | 41 |
| #9 | finfly | 48% | 44 |
| #10 | The Flying Dutchman | 46% | 61 |
| #11 | Yichael | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugh Janus | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Okki | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Monosodium Glutamate | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | The Flying Dutchman | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Ragnaesk | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugh Janus | 626 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | Monosodium Glutamate | 356 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | Okki | 167 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ragnaesk | 160 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ben dover | 156 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugh Janus | +3.65 | 75 | 72 |
| #2 | Ben dover | +2.83 | 75 | 72 |
| #3 | Aran | +0.98 | 56 | 64 |
| #4 | Ragnaesk | +0.32 | 62 | 66 |
| #5 | meowers^^ | +0.05 | 69 | 70 |





