










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 969 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 473 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4980 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7149 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5219 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7221 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,019,891 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 779 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jinks ³ | 72% | 149 |
| #2 | RINO | 70% | 339 |
| #3 | Lyt | 67% | 1076 |
| #4 | Zinked | 67% | 865 |
| #5 | birchje | 63% | 439 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | RINO | 70% | 339 |
| #3 | Lyt | 67% | 1076 |
| #4 | Zinked | 67% | 865 |
| #5 | birchje | 63% | 439 |
| #6 | the best perc | 62% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zinked | 49 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Lyt | 40 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | jinks ³ | 22 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | RINO | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | birchje | 11 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyt | 3910 | 0.18 | 120 min |
| #2 | Zinked | 2950 | 0.17 | 75 min |
| #3 | birchje | 1777 | 0.20 | 43 min |
| #4 | RINO | 1186 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #5 | jinks ³ | 246 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyt | +5.52 | 97 | 70 |
| #2 | birchje | +1.45 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | blink | +1.22 | 84 | 48 |
| #4 | Zinked | +0.88 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | jinks ³ | -0.42 | 58 | 43 |





