








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6575 | 39% |
| Smokes | 4125 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1684 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 4576 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $487,527 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jinks ³ | 79% | 33 |
| #2 | Zinked | 71% | 272 |
| #3 | Lyt | 70% | 335 |
| #4 | blink | 70% | 339 |
| #5 | birchje | 62% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jinks ³ | 79% | 33 |
| #2 | Zinked | 71% | 272 |
| #3 | Lyt | 70% | 335 |
| #4 | blink | 70% | 339 |
| #5 | birchje | 62% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zinked | 16 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Lyt | 14 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | blink | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | jinks ³ | 9 | 0.0145 |
| #5 | birchje | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyt | 1466 | 0.22 | 46 min |
| #2 | Zinked | 959 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #3 | birchje | 425 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | blink | 379 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | jinks ³ | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyt | +5.95 | 97 | 73 |
| #2 | blink | +1.35 | 83 | 48 |
| #3 | birchje | +1.26 | 79 | 65 |
| #4 | jinks ³ | +1.14 | 62 | 37 |
| #5 | Zinked | +0.64 | 75 | 64 |





