








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 401 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6015 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2981 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4396 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3672 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2734 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,031,030 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jinks ³ | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | birchje | 65% | 78 |
| #3 | Zinked | 64% | 136 |
| #4 | Lyt | 63% | 147 |
| #5 | blink | 62% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zinked | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Lyt | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | jinks ³ | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | o2 | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | blink | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyt | 583 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | Zinked | 483 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | birchje | 403 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #4 | blink | 178 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | o2 | 113 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyt | +4.01 | 96 | 74 |
| #2 | birchje | +1.23 | 77 | 70 |
| #3 | the best perc | +1.00 | 80 | 54 |
| #4 | Zinked | -0.19 | 69 | 67 |
| #5 | blink | -0.40 | 80 | 47 |





