








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 848 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 775 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




129 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 282 | 3% |
| Smokes | 2879 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3532 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1644 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,887,641 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Local Waffle House Crackhead | 67% | 52 |
| #2 | Bebrage | 57% | 200 |
| #3 | coke | 57% | 60 |
| #4 | ken | 54% | 154 |
| #5 | TheBossMan_14 | 46% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bebrage | 30 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | TheBossMan_14 | 30 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | ken | 20 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | stromboli | 15 | 0.0143 |
| #5 | coke | 12 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bebrage | 675 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | stromboli | 114 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | TheBossMan_14 | 88 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | me sippin off dat mudd | 66 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Local Waffle House Crackhead | 62 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Local Waffle House Crackhead | +5.85 | 71 | 45 |
| #2 | Bebrage | +5.05 | 56 | 50 |
| #3 | ken | +2.15 | 55 | 9 |
| #4 | stromboli | +0.59 | 14 | 51 |
| #5 | coke | +0.43 | 15 | 30 |





