








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,609 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1967 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2461 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2761 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2420 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $457,735 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saiyajin HomerLadiesMan | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Maxi | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | TJnsn | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Gottkönig Meraick :) | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Reiner Callmund | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | CubY | 48% | 40 |
| #8 | SMTY;. | 46% | 37 |
| #9 | pAuL | 41% | 29 |
| #10 | simon | 38% | 16 |
| #11 | EUPHORiA | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SMTY;. | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | TJnsn | 4 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | Saiyajin HomerLadiesMan | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Flickflick. | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Gottkönig Meraick :) | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saiyajin HomerLadiesMan | 136 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #2 | SMTY;. | 123 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | EUPHORiA | 97 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #4 | CubY | 91 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | TJnsn | 64 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saiyajin HomerLadiesMan | +5.10 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | EUPHORiA | +2.61 | 82 | 82 |
| #3 | Fl0wCa | +0.93 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | pAuL | +0.57 | 86 | 60 |
| #5 | CubY | -0.18 | 64 | 67 |





