








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 541 | 24% |
| Smokes | 612 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 507 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 632 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $56,749 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ares | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | B3@ST! | 47% | 36 |
| #3 | asperitY | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | Realnoob | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Dribbl3s | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dribbl3s | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | ekiskakOU | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B3@ST! | 114 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Dribbl3s | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | ekiskakOU | 27 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | asperitY | 27 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | 武士 | 3 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Realnoob | +3.00 | 66 | 12 |
| #2 | asperitY | +2.86 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | Ares | +1.16 | 66 | 47 |
| #4 | Dribbl3s | -0.25 | 44 | 67 |
| #5 | NingenSenshi | -1.35 | 55 | 63 |





