








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
523 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 284 | 25% |
| Smokes | 275 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 299 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 294 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $80,818 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 武士 | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Dribbl3s | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | B3@ST! | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | ekiskakOU | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | NingenSenshi | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 武士 | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Dribbl3s | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | B3@ST! | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | ekiskakOU | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | NingenSenshi | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dribbl3s | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | NingenSenshi | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ekiskakOU | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NingenSenshi | 100 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | B3@ST! | 99 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | 武士 | 34 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dribbl3s | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | ekiskakOU | 20 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asperitY | +2.94 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | Dribbl3s | +0.08 | 45 | 69 |
| #3 | 武士 | -0.07 | 50 | 67 |
| #4 | NingenSenshi | -1.50 | 56 | 68 |
| #5 | B3@ST! | -1.90 | 37 | 71 |





