








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1976 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3583 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3631 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3642 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $452,668 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kyrox | 94% | 16 |
| #2 | ✪ h1dd3n | 71% | 45 |
| #3 | Balsa ツ | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | Z1mmy | 63% | 62 |
| #5 | Failed | 53% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Failed | 53% | 105 |
| #6 | ALx | 53% | 293 |
| #7 | aory | 43% | 122 |
| #8 | Kumpelblase | 43% | 157 |
| #9 | kwit | 40% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALx | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Kumpelblase | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | aory | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Failed | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | kwit | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALx | 1019 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #2 | Kumpelblase | 471 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | aory | 305 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Failed | 151 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪ h1dd3n | 121 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ h1dd3n | +3.67 | 95 | 69 |
| #2 | kyrox | +2.35 | 90 | 77 |
| #3 | ALx | +2.34 | 91 | 65 |
| #4 | Z1mmy | +1.15 | 80 | 53 |
| #5 | Sixx | +0.56 | 77 | 71 |





