








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 748 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,953 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1846 | 47% |
| Smokes | 837 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 547 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 723 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $587,050 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | melody | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | ouindoze | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | NNYL | 65% | 31 |
| #4 | love | 64% | 58 |
| #5 | LYNN | 63% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | everyones favorite dog | 43 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | love | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | LYNN | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | axolotl | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ouindoze | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | everyones favorite dog | 395 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | ♡ Soulidity ♡ | 295 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | love | 215 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Reef | 123 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #5 | axolotl | 103 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | love | +3.86 | 75 | 54 |
| #2 | Freya 🏳️⚧ | +3.07 | 86 | 60 |
| #3 | melody | +2.50 | 59 | 65 |
| #4 | ♡ Soulidity ♡ | +2.40 | 79 | 55 |
| #5 | ouindoze | +1.75 | 74 | 64 |





