








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 837 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1367 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1209 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1102 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $350,154 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | saml | 52% | 126 |
| #5 | munchicharrónes🍙 | 50% | 106 |
| #6 | henkaton | 50% | 128 |
| #7 | happy go lucky | 48% | 58 |
| #8 | Sikloy | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saml | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | namet | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | henkaton | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | munchicharrónes🍙 | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | happy go lucky | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saml | 288 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | munchicharrónes🍙 | 213 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | henkaton | 209 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | happy go lucky | 174 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | namet | 173 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holykyckling | +2.56 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | saml | +1.83 | 90 | 67 |
| #3 | happy go lucky | -0.33 | 73 | 74 |
| #4 | henkaton | -1.07 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | munchicharrónes🍙 | -1.26 | 62 | 73 |





