










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 750 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,907 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 951 | 24% |
| Smokes | 775 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1333 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 848 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $646,315 of utility $258 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizzy | 513 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #2 | moo | 186 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | nolaN | 72 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | ZaaZuu | 62 | 0.41 | 2 min |
| #5 | xFaJa | 42 | 0.25 | 1 min |





