








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,916 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 827 | 21% |
| Smokes | 698 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1628 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 763 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $712,668 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lew | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | 1.2 D | 59% | 44 |
| #3 | Lekass | 59% | 80 |
| #4 | Šišhkin | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | standinginthegarden | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | standinginthegarden | 227 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | Šišhkin | 73 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Stubentiger | 66 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | 1.2 D | 65 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lew | 53 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rexdeN1 | +3.84 | 80 | 43 |
| #2 | HARDCOCK 24/7 | +1.98 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | Šišhkin | +1.96 | 70 | 59 |
| #4 | standinginthegarden | +1.52 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | Lew | -0.25 | 73 | 57 |





