








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 466 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2496 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3884 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3226 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3652 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,097,344 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eldoorfiix | 51% | 347 |
| #2 | Helmuuuuut | 50% | 331 |
| #3 | Faster Stronger Harder | 49% | 261 |
| #4 | Fancy Nancy Clancy | 49% | 72 |
| #5 | Otis | 48% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Faster Stronger Harder | 49% | 261 |
| #4 | Fancy Nancy Clancy | 49% | 72 |
| #5 | Otis | 48% | 128 |
| #6 | jB | 48% | 375 |
| #7 | Kallomena | 42% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helmuuuuut | 36 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | jB | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | eldoorfiix | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Otis | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Fancy Nancy Clancy | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helmuuuuut | 1065 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #2 | eldoorfiix | 565 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #3 | jB | 340 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #4 | Faster Stronger Harder | 272 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | Otis | 132 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eldoorfiix | +2.39 | 57 | 72 |
| #2 | jB | +1.07 | 72 | 54 |
| #3 | Helmuuuuut | +0.64 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | manu08 | +0.10 | 60 | 59 |
| #5 | Otis | -1.26 | 67 | 52 |





