








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 736 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 34 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5341 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6691 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7020 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7673 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,492,793 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | manu08 | 51% | 347 |
| #7 | Fancy Nancy Clancy | 50% | 90 |
| #8 | Faster Stronger Harder | 50% | 324 |
| #9 | Kallomena | 45% | 58 |
| #10 | MARKUSIO | 43% | 46 |





