








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 528 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2008 | 13% |
| Smokes | 5667 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3252 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4186 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,084,110 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Faster Stronger Harder | 49% | 292 |
| #6 | Helmuuuuut | 49% | 330 |
| #7 | manu08 | 48% | 375 |
| #8 | Kallomena | 48% | 71 |
| #9 | Fancy Nancy Clancy | 45% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helmuuuuut | 1061 | 0.15 | 25 min |
| #2 | eldoorfiix | 695 | 0.07 | 19 min |
| #3 | manu08 | 431 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #4 | Faster Stronger Harder | 319 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | Otis | 201 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eldoorfiix | +2.41 | 58 | 68 |
| #2 | jB | +1.21 | 74 | 53 |
| #3 | Helmuuuuut | +0.69 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | manu08 | -0.17 | 59 | 59 |
| #5 | Otis | -0.97 | 66 | 53 |





