








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 58 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 680 | 25% |
| Smokes | 704 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 664 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 634 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $256,708 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | venn1 | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Ronald | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | _XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_ | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | TripleG | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | Nonni | 80% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | playboy körti | 50% | 4 |
| #16 | bætheveijjj ;D | 50% | 6 |
| #17 | kristinnfannarmufc | 50% | 22 |
| #18 | drugbasher FYRIR VÖFFLURNAR | 40% | 5 |
| #19 | ☭ shineN4t [exp] | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7OXIC | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | kristinnfannarmufc | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mozart | 106 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | ✪ bRYON | 88 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | _XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_XD_ | 38 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #4 | 7OXIC | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | kristinnfannarmufc | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |





