








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 650 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,724 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6882 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5146 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5527 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4169 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,548,876 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 910 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bainio | 76% | 87 |
| #2 | .hEliuM | 73% | 37 |
| #3 | NMK | 67% | 87 |
| #4 | Gwv | 66% | 98 |
| #5 | SWAT | 66% | 389 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | notorious PURR | 60% | 42 |
| #9 | daily | 59% | 128 |
| #10 | Texet_Trust | 58% | 95 |
| #11 | Azza | 50% | 117 |
| #12 | Alex, pro noob | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azza | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | SWAT | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Gwv | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | NMK | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | daily | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SWAT | 1476 | 0.19 | 45 min |
| #2 | NMK | 618 | 0.35 | 17 min |
| #3 | Gwv | 569 | 0.30 | 15 min |
| #4 | Texet_Trust | 457 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #5 | daily | 406 | 0.16 | 11 min |





