








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1394 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2312 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2727 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2432 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $985,976 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pwnisher | 75% | 40 |
| #2 | Sarost | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | Meta | 63% | 123 |
| #4 | froNex | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | shred | 59% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | shred | 59% | 32 |
| #6 | Chimps Pimpin Chimps | 59% | 22 |
| #7 | lower | 57% | 138 |
| #8 | dae | 54% | 57 |
| #9 | yelLOWfILiNgCabINeT73 | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meta | 15 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | yelLOWfILiNgCabINeT73 | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | froNex | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | dae | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Chimps Pimpin Chimps | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meta | 752 | 0.32 | 17 min |
| #2 | lower | 484 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | dae | 403 | 0.36 | 14 min |
| #4 | shred | 128 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Pwnisher | 122 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meta | +3.34 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | Verti | +2.86 | 87 | 50 |
| #3 | lower | +2.70 | 87 | 70 |
| #4 | Sarost | +2.42 | 83 | 68 |
| #5 | shred | +1.58 | 88 | 74 |





