








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 389 | 22% |
| Smokes | 499 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 418 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 451 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $113,719 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chimps Pimpin Chimps | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Nilsana | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Zyrn | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | dae | 50% | 36 |
| #5 | lower | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Zyrn | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | dae | 50% | 36 |
| #5 | lower | 48% | 52 |
| #6 | Verti | 44% | 43 |
| #7 | volt | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | volt | 4 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | dae | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Chimps Pimpin Chimps | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Nilsana | 2 | 0.0220 |
| #5 | Verti | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dae | 280 | 0.38 | 9 min |
| #2 | lower | 184 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Zyrn | 58 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Verti | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chimps Pimpin Chimps | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Verti | +2.54 | 89 | 52 |
| #2 | lower | +2.46 | 90 | 74 |
| #3 | dae | +0.62 | 79 | 76 |
| #4 | yelLOWfILiNgCabINeT73 | -1.18 | 50 | 49 |
| #5 | Chimps Pimpin Chimps | -2.68 | 67 | 37 |





