








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 686 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1903 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2625 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1681 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 999 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1169 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $640,580 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lmtlss | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | shugg | 70% | 40 |
| #3 | AntelopeFunny | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | crash | 64% | 42 |
| #5 | outzie | 64% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | AntelopeFunny | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | crash | 64% | 42 |
| #5 | outzie | 64% | 11 |
| #6 | monke | 54% | 24 |
| #7 | Gog | 42% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crash | 10 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Gog | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | shugg | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | outzie | 3 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | monke | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gog | 326 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | crash | 198 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | shugg | 94 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | monke | 71 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | outzie | 48 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shugg | +6.57 | 92 | 59 |
| #2 | monke | +2.09 | 87 | 58 |
| #3 | crash | +1.90 | 71 | 51 |
| #4 | outzie | +1.61 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | mav | +1.48 | 66 | 52 |





