








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1897 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1108 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2918 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2211 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $768,452 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | LogiS | 55% | 119 |
| #5 | ♡♡♡K!ller.Lady*<3 | 52% | 33 |
| #6 | ecstasy☺ | 50% | 115 |
| #7 | IchMagKetchup | 49% | 59 |
| #8 | maiK |Autismtv™ | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maiK |Autismtv™ | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | ecstasy☺ | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | LogiS | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | IchMagKetchup | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | omniraid | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ecstasy☺ | 256 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | maiK |Autismtv™ | 179 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | LogiS | 158 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | IchMagKetchup | 126 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | omniraid | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LogiS | +1.66 | 58 | 52 |
| #2 | Aitch en/de | +1.12 | 71 | 52 |
| #3 | maiK |Autismtv™ | +0.76 | 72 | 45 |
| #4 | Hossi | +0.34 | 31 | 52 |
| #5 | ♡♡♡K!ller.Lady*<3 | -0.45 | 74 | 43 |





