








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2378 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2466 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3309 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1335 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,026,500 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | †_Just99_† | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Aitch en/de | 60% | 48 |
| #3 | gentic | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Hossi | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | LogiS | 50% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jo | 267 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | †_Amelanddd_† | 263 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | †_El Polaco_ † | 95 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Aitch en/de | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | †_Just99_† | 75 | 0.18 | 1 min |





