










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 638 | 18% |
| Smokes | 407 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1435 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 971 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $772,003 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devil | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | AnimalA | 52% | 83 |
| #3 | Donna | 47% | 131 |
| #4 | liam | 46% | 123 |
| #5 | Alcoholicgaggle | 45% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Alcoholicgaggle | 45% | 89 |
| #6 | im shit | 43% | 30 |
| #7 | TB2SESHY | 42% | 50 |
| #8 | The Big Cheese | 42% | 36 |
| #9 | hurricane | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | liam | 31 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Donna | 24 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Alcoholicgaggle | 23 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | The Big Cheese | 14 | 0.0191 |
| #5 | TB2SESHY | 8 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | liam | 467 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Donna | 366 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | Alcoholicgaggle | 332 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | AnimalA | 225 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | hurricane | 113 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | liam | +2.94 | 82 | 52 |
| #2 | Alcoholicgaggle | +1.52 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | devil | +1.44 | 74 | 53 |
| #4 | AnimalA | +1.32 | 69 | 55 |
| #5 | Donna | -0.33 | 52 | 59 |





