








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 515 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1095 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 856 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 890 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $401,211 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dranzer DC | 82% | 17 |
| #2 | Meer Kat | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | FaLc0n | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | Khabib The Beagle | 57% | 49 |
| #5 | hb_gujju | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | SidD | 52% | 60 |
| #10 | VISI0N | 42% | 19 |
| #11 | GoBliNNN | 42% | 12 |
| #12 | Ferrell | 38% | 13 |
| #13 | Clay | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khabib The Beagle | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | kiiiiNNNNNNNNNyyyy | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Meer Kat | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | VISI0N | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Dranzer DC | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiiiiNNNNNNNNNyyyy | 312 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #2 | SidD | 138 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Khabib The Beagle | 102 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | 𐂃 | 88 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | FaLc0n | 86 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VISI0N | +2.77 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | FaLc0n | +2.48 | 56 | 64 |
| #3 | GoBliNNN | +2.00 | 89 | 63 |
| #4 | 𐂃 | +1.36 | 82 | 57 |
| #5 | Dranzer DC | +0.75 | 64 | 75 |





