








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 323 | 19% |
| Smokes | 495 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 494 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 375 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $495,095 of utility $256 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Kreuzband RIZZ | 56% | 18 |
| #10 | FresHii* | 55% | 11 |
| #11 | roacH | 45% | 11 |
| #12 | tquigi | 44% | 16 |
| #13 | Blu3Eye | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roacH | 2 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Kreuzband RIZZ | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | tquigi | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | queng | 1 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wombat. EV EV | 71 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kreuzband RIZZ | 60 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | roacH | 43 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Liinh | 36 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #5 | T-Dawg | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lybra | +4.50 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | wombat. EV EV | +3.98 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | tquigi | +1.12 | 83 | 57 |
| #4 | Ryo | +1.03 | 82 | 52 |
| #5 | Kreuzband RIZZ | +0.60 | 84 | 67 |





